The Wilderness Part I
There are times in our Christian walk where we may find ourselves wandering in the wilderness. I have been in the wilderness for quite some time now. I have gone through so many phases with God in the last two years I sometime pose the question, "Who am I?" Being in the wilderness is no joke. Baya is dying, someone new is being raised up-that I am certain of. Let us not confuse the wilderness for what it really is. You may have found yourself in an uncomfortable season; a season where the bad days out weigh the good days. That does not necessarily equal the wilderness.
Wilderness- a wild and uncultivated region, as desert, uninhabited or inhabited only by wild animals; a tract of wasteland.
Who in their right mind would want to roam in the wilderness!? Three things that stick out to me:
- a wild uncultivated region
- inhabited only by wild animals
- a tract of wasteland
Numbers 14:34 NLT-you must wander in the wilderness for forty years—a year for each day, suffering the consequences of your sins.
Wander- to move about without a fixed course, aim, or goal; to go idly about, ramble, roam; to go astray, lose normal mental contact;to go aimlessly, indirectly;to take one direction or another without conscious intent or control;to move about without a definite destination or purpose;to lose clarity or coherence of thought or expression.
You have a purpose. You are driving to 'A Good Life Road'. You notice a fork coming up in the road.You decide to go right. You continue driving and driving and notice no signs of civilization. You think to yourself, "surely, I made the right turn". You are certain that you know the way! Soon, you find yourself wandering in what appears to be, wilderness; a place of wasteland, inhabited by only wild animals. You could not find your way out so you've been there for quite some time. There is no reception so you could not use any of your fancy gagets to call for help. Your days are now spent trying not to be some wild animal's dinner. You have become familiar with techniques to fight the beasts of the land. An uncultivated region-no crops, no grass, nothing but dirt, rocks, and dry sands. Your body is weak and fragile from the lack of food. It is a good day if you can find a juicy, bloody worm to give you enough strength for that day. You aimlessly take one direction or another without conscious intent or control. Hours filled of walking and walking and walking. You swallow dust and dirt with every step taken. Rocks and nasty bugs eat the skin on your feet as you move about without a fixed course. You lose clarity of thought and expression the longer you roam about without purpose. Though there are others around, you no longer notice them because you have lost all normal mental contact with existence. You can barely talk, not even a whisper as your lips are so cracked- it hurts to move them. Your throat is infected and so dry that you try to manage a few tears for water. You pray in your mind, what's left of it, that God will have mercy and lead you to a place of rest. Thoughts of just one sip of water, so that you can wet your tongue- gives you hope. You have no destination. You never sleep. Your dreams are consumed by confusion of what life exactly is. You realize that every step you take is completely by the grace of God. Every day that you live is by the mercy of God.You remember a time when you had a purpose but now, your purpose has been striped. It is no longer yours to have. There is nothing left to say. There is nothing that you can do. There is no one who can rescue you. Every breath you take indicates that God is in control.
Sin led to the wilderness. The unfaithful actions and responses to what God was doing in the lives of the Israelites led them to the wilderness. Today, God is calling for a FAITHFUL people. A people that WILL TRUST him and ONLY HIM-no matter what the situation or circumstance. His unfailing love still continues to help us grow even in wasteland. The wilderness kills self. The wilderness teaches us how to fight the enemy; not by hands but, by his Word. The wilderness will cause you to fast in all areas due to of lack of supplies, causing you to grow closer to God. The wilderness will cause you to know that you are at the mercy and will of GOD and only GOD. You are not in control and you never were.
Numbers 14:11 NLT-“How long will these people treat me with contempt? Will they never believe me, even after all the miraculous signs I have done among them?
Proverbs 19:21 NIV-Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.
The 40 years of wandering, was for the 'unbelieving generation' to die off, so that the new generation could rise up and enter the land which God had promised.
The Wilderness Part II
The 40 years period of wandering was for the 'unbelieving generation' to die off, so that a new generation of believers could rise up and enter the land.
Numbers 14:1-10 NLT-Then the whole community began weeping aloud, and they cried all night. 2 Their voices rose in a great chorus of protest against Moses and Aaron. “If only we had died in Egypt, or even here in the wilderness!” they complained. 3 “Why is the Lord taking us to this country only to have us die in battle? Our wives and our little ones will be carried off as plunder! Wouldn’t it be better for us to return to Egypt?” 4 Then they plotted among themselves, “Let’s choose a new leader and go back to Egypt!”
6 Two of the men who had explored the land, Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh, tore their clothing. 7 They said to all the people of Israel, “The land we traveled through and explored is a wonderful land! 8 And if the Lord is pleased with us, he will bring us safely into that land and give it to us. It is a rich land flowing with milk and honey. 9 Do not rebel against the Lord, and don’t be afraid of the people of the land. They are only helpless prey to us! They have no protection, but the Lord is with us! Don’t be afraid of them!”
10 But the whole community began to talk about stoning Joshua and Caleb.
At this point, the Israelites had already witnessed God parting the Red Sea. I mean my goodness, the Lord parted a sea for crying out loud! Surely that would make any one believe! Those silly Israelites! We are nothing like them!
In verse 9: Do not rebel against the Lord. Do not be afraid...Adversity Hurts! Adversity Sucks! Who wants to go through pain? Who wants to cry? Who wants to be weary and weak? Who wants to endure sickness, sometimes madness? It is in those moments that we need to turn up the faith. Believe like we never believed before. God has already told us not to be scared. He has already prepared the promise. But yet, we can't get out of ourselves. We can't stop thinking about how we feel, and what we are going through.
How many times has God moved on your behalf? How many times has God showed you that HE is in fact God over your life. How many battles have you won with his help? How many times has he sent his healing power to you or someone close to you? How many times has he come in at the last minute and performed a financial miracle in your life? How many times has he spared you from danger? Every time it seemed no way possible, the Lord your God has come through and made it possible for you. How many signs, miracles, and wonders must you see? As soon as there is a crisis, an uncomfortable situation, a time of uncertainty...we are so quick to complain, to doubt, to walk in unbelief...just like the Israelites did.
22 They have all seen my glorious presence and the miraculous signs I performed both in Egypt and in the wilderness, but again and again they have tested me by refusing to listen to my voice.
25 Tomorrow you must set out for the wilderness in the direction of the Red Sea.
34 “‘Because your men explored the land for forty days, you must wander in the wilderness for forty years—a year for each day, suffering the consequences of your sins. Then you will discover what it is like to have me for an enemy.’ 35 I, the Lord, have spoken! I will certainly do these things to every member of the community who has conspired against me.
39 When Moses reported the Lord’s words to all the Israelites, the people were filled with grief. 40 Then they got up early the next morning and went to the top of the range of hills. “Let’s go,” they said. “We realize that we have sinned, but now we are ready to enter the land the Lord has promised us.”
If it's not bad enough, testing God, some of us decide to take matters into our own hands. We don''t like what the wilderness does to our flesh. We don't like not knowing. We don't like not being in control. We don't like our flesh dying and our spirit man growing. We don't like being limited. We don't like not having all resources available to us. We grow tired of roaming in the wilderness. We say to God, "40 years is too long!" We cry out that we don't belong in the wilderness because we are good people. When every road is blocked. Every mouth is shut. No doors are open. Nothing is happening to change the circumstance. There is no light in the dark situation. Nothing is happening to put out the fires that burns so hot. No jobs are calling for employment. No counseling is helping my marriage. No banks are approving my loans. No one is stopping the foreclosure. No medicines are curing this sickness. There's no money. There's nothing to eat. The church doesn't care. My friends are coming against me. Momma and Daddy won't help me. My kids don't want to live right. The car is always in the shop. I never have enough for anything. I hate the way I look. Why did I lose my baby. Why am I facing a divorce. It's been so long, I'll never get married. I'll never have kids. No one loves me. No one cares about me. You are slowly dying from stress, heartache, depression, and overwhelming weariness and God is not to be found. It seems as if every demon in hell has been loosed to come after only you and God is not doing a thing. YOU MUST take matters in your own hands. It is YOUR LIFE at state. You say God has forsaken me. He does not hear nor answer my prayers. You question his ability and ask why would he allow this to happen to you? You're done roaming in the wilderness. Worldliness vs Wilderness. Worldliness vs Wilderness. Worldliness vs Wilderness. You make the decision to come out instead of allowing God to prepare you for what he has promised. You tell God, "This is too much for me to bare and YOU SAID you would not give me more than I can bare." God reminds you of his promise but at this point, after all that has happened to you, you just don't believe him.
41 But Moses said, “Why are you now disobeying the Lord’s orders to return to the wilderness? It won’t work. 42 Do not go up into the land now. You will only be crushed by your enemies because the Lord is not with you. 43 When you face the Amalekites and Canaanites in battle, you will be slaughtered. The Lord will abandon you because you have abandoned the Lord.”
How many times must we fail to realize doing things on our own does not work? How many times have you decided to give up on God, only to find yourself in a worse situation? Things may be sweet in the beginning but eventually the fun dies out. You later find yourself back in the same boat this time it has more holes. You are back to sinking, now even faster. There is only one name that you know to call. The one you left in the wilderness.
The Wilderness Part III
So we are wrapping up 'The Wilderness'. How do you know when you are in the wilderness and not just going through a difficult time in your life? The wilderness usually includes YOUR FLESH dying daily. You may think you are delivered from a particular thing and find that later on in life you still need work in that area. In the wilderness, God's destroys those things that are not like him. He destroys, his way. The wilderness is designed by God to show you just who he really is. Some of us can live our whole life and never really know who God is. The wilderness is also designed to show you who you really are. Not everyone who enters the wilderness will make it out. Some will give up, some will die trying (spiritually). The only way to enter the land which God has prepared and promised to you is by doing things God's way and his way only. By allowing him to strip you of almost every thing that you know to be you. Everyday can feel like torture in the wilderness. You find out just how much of the world is in you. Yes you love God, yes you serve God, yes you are saved and baptised with his spirit but, you are still fleshly. You still do things the way the world does things. You operate in your flesh more than you thought. The wilderness will reveal that to you. The Holy Spirit and The Flesh go to war in the wilderness. A bloody battle that will prove who is in fact Lord over your life. The Wilderness will bring every bit of Word you know, everything you've ever learned about God, every song of praise and worship, every story that your grandma and grandpa has told you about Jesus, every christian movie and book, every sermon, every and anything related to God will be your comfort. The road will become so lonely and so narrow that those memories and teachings will be what keeps you alive. Some days it will feel as if God is attacking you. Nights will be so cold and scary not knowing which way to go and what to do. You will literally feel like just going home to glory. The wilderness holds bad news, demotions, challenges, changes, stress, financial problems, lack, concerns, sickness, no hope, tears, pain, no joy, no rest, no peace, letdowns, divorces, miscarries, and betrayal. Every day you live by whatever manna God chooses to feed you. You never have a choice, everything is done his way. There is no one that you can speak to (though you will try). No one will have the answer but God himself. There will be nothing your pastor or spiritual leader can do. Nothing a friend, parent or even spouse can help with. Every road that you know will be blocked. Every path you remember will be crooked. Every familiar door will be bolted shut. The only person you can go to is- God. The only person you can depend on is- God. The only one you can trust is-God. The only thing and the only one that matter WILL BE- God. That is the way he has designed it. In the wilderness, your life will be turned upside down and inside out. The things of the world, the concerns of the world, the joys of the world, the hopes from the world, the love of the world will be replaced by and for GOD.
This is not to scare you but to prepare you; to teach you. I wish I had this study before I entered the wilderness. It was the hardest years of my life. Everyday trying to survive. Everyday a new way out of no way. Tears, stress, worry, hurt, broken by life. Broken by the challenges of having more than one child. Demonic forces coming against my marriage. I had never experienced trials so great while serving Christ, where I felt like going back into the world. It started out as a rocky time of my life and just like I've always said in the past, "this too shall pass." But, it never passed. Day after day, month after month, year after year, it just does not end (Duet. 8:2:Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the desert these forty
years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your
heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.) I realize that I am still in the wilderness feeding off of any bit of manner that God sees fit to give me for the day (Duet. 8:2:...man does not live by bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of
the Lord.) In the beginning, it was bad news after more bad news, after more bad news (2 Tim 3:12: In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will
be persecuted.) Then I went through a stripping stage; all of my prized possesions, my greatest materials begin to go away (Job 1:21-God gives and God takes). Later, I went through a no one is here for me stage (John 15:18&20: "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also.") Followed by, the no one understands me stage (1 Pet. 4:12-13: Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you.). Then there was, the there's no hope stage (Ex. 20:20:"Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be
with you to keep you from sinning."). And, what did I do to deserve this stage (1 Peter 4: Since Christ suffered physical pain you must arm yourselves with the same inner
conviction that he had. To be free from sin means bodily suffering, and the
man who accepts this will spend the rest of his time here on earth, not in
being led by human desires, but in doing the will of God.) And, so forth; I would call out to God he wouldn't answer (Job 30:20:"I cry to you, O God, but you don't answer. I stand before you, but you don't
even look.) I would get so mad (James 1:20:For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. 1 Peter 2:23:When he suffered he made no threats of revenge.) Many many tears shed. Still no answer (Rev.21:4: He will wipe every tear from their eyes.) I would complain and complain just to find more problems and more disappointments. It felt as if God had forsaken me (Mark 15:34: My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?) As my flesh continued to die I would remember the things of my past, of my old life...then I would weep uncontrollably asking God what had I done to deserve such hardship (2 Tim. 1:8: Accept your share of the hardship that faithfulness to the gospel entails in the strength that God gives you). Now, I hear God clearly (Is. 43:19: For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see
it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the
dry wasteland.) There were times of battle that were brutal. I did not think I would make it. I didn't realize then but now I see that God was with me. He is with me. The manna that he gave me is just enough for the day. He is training me to not think of tomorrow but to only focus on today (Mat. 6:34:"So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's
trouble is enough for today.). Today he will give me just what I need for the day alone. I am not to take in more than a day's portion but, if I do, God will decrease his manna to help me stay focused on him. Phew, it can be a struggle. When you go from having everything, to having nothing, your natural mode of survival is to store up. I will not lie, I had to learn that the hard way. God reprogrammed the mode of survival to look up. Ps.121:1
I still cry. I still hurt. I still want to know the answers. I still want to know where I am going. What will happened. The wilderness is teaching me to TRUST & DEPEND on GOD ALONE. I roam around in the wilderness singing old church hymns. I find joy in my days reading his word. I am no longer scared of the beasts of the wilderness because I have acquired a set of skills that keep the enemy under my feet. I am more thankful now then I have ever been, for his grace and his mercy.My nights are spent thinking..."I am still alive". I rejoice in knowing, I made it another day. I have learned to take deep breaths and say, "Thank you Jesus." (Rom.8:28:And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.)
I still cry. I still hurt. I still want to know the answers. I still want to know where I am going. What will happened. The wilderness is teaching me to TRUST & DEPEND on GOD ALONE. I roam around in the wilderness singing old church hymns. I find joy in my days reading his word. I am no longer scared of the beasts of the wilderness because I have acquired a set of skills that keep the enemy under my feet. I am more thankful now then I have ever been, for his grace and his mercy.My nights are spent thinking..."I am still alive". I rejoice in knowing, I made it another day. I have learned to take deep breaths and say, "Thank you Jesus." (Rom.8:28:And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.)
The wilderness will be required of all who want to enter the land. God will not put you in the wilderness if you are not prepared for it. (Mat.4:1:Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness.) 1 Cor. 10:13: And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.
The wilderness is not designed for you to flee from him, it is designed for you to flee to him. The promise that God has for you is not to be handled carelessly. It is for all to see his Glory. It is to be used to highlight his love for his children. He will not withhold this promise from you but, he will not be mocked. He will not be compared with the ruler of this world. He will not allow you to pick him up and play with him only when you are ready. He is the BOSS of this land. You will work for only him. He does not want half of you. He wants ALL of you. That is why the wilderness is so important. The wilderness trains you not to doubt and to always remember who was able when no one else was. He will not allow you to enter the land flowing with milk and honey until he knows that you are clean enough to enter. Smart enough to manage it. Wise enough to maintain it. Strong enough to plow it. Equipped enough to serve it. Gentle enough to care for it. Humble enough to respect it. Patient enough to enjoy it, in and out of season. Kind enough to share it. Loyal enough to multiply it. Consistent enough to not give up on it, and hungry enough to enjoy only God's fruits (love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control).
The wilderness is not designed for you to flee from him, it is designed for you to flee to him. The promise that God has for you is not to be handled carelessly. It is for all to see his Glory. It is to be used to highlight his love for his children. He will not withhold this promise from you but, he will not be mocked. He will not be compared with the ruler of this world. He will not allow you to pick him up and play with him only when you are ready. He is the BOSS of this land. You will work for only him. He does not want half of you. He wants ALL of you. That is why the wilderness is so important. The wilderness trains you not to doubt and to always remember who was able when no one else was. He will not allow you to enter the land flowing with milk and honey until he knows that you are clean enough to enter. Smart enough to manage it. Wise enough to maintain it. Strong enough to plow it. Equipped enough to serve it. Gentle enough to care for it. Humble enough to respect it. Patient enough to enjoy it, in and out of season. Kind enough to share it. Loyal enough to multiply it. Consistent enough to not give up on it, and hungry enough to enjoy only God's fruits (love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control).
It takes faith to make it out of the wilderness. When I entered the wilderness I had on fancy leather pumps, expensive clothing, and shiny jewelry. I had status and population, wisdom and revelation, a slick hair do...boy, I had no idea what was in store! Fancy pumps didn't put food on the table. Designer handbags didn't clothe my children. Diamond rings couldn't mend my brokenheart. Population did nothing for pain. My wisdom and revelation meant nothing to God.
We have become bound to the world. God wants us to be bound to the cross.
In Golgotha (a place of great suffering), Jesus Christ carried the cross. In the wilderness (a place of great suffering), we carry the cross. In that place, Jesus's body was crucified. In that place, our flesh is crucified. Jesus's cross read: THE KING OF THE JEWS Our cross reads: CO-HEIRS OF THE KING
John 19:17 KJV:17 And He, bearing His cross, went out to a place called the Place of a Skull, which is called in Hebrew, Golgotha, 18 where they crucified Him...19 Now Pilate wrote a title and put it on the cross. And the writing was: JESUS OF NAZARETH, THE KING OF THE JEWS.
Roms 8:17 NIV: Now if we are children, then we are heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
John 19:17 KJV:17 And He, bearing His cross, went out to a place called the Place of a Skull, which is called in Hebrew, Golgotha, 18 where they crucified Him...19 Now Pilate wrote a title and put it on the cross. And the writing was: JESUS OF NAZARETH, THE KING OF THE JEWS.
Roms 8:17 NIV: Now if we are children, then we are heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
I pray that this gives a little perspective of what the wilderness is, what it looks like, what it may feel like, and most importantly what it is for. Though life in the wilderness may seem like pure hell, God is raising up a Joshua Generation that can step into the land he has promised. You are apart of something great! Suffer with joy. God is doing a work in you that the world will never be able to strip away.
1 Peter 4:16 KJV:16 Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf.
Duet. 8:2 NIV-Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.
Duet. 11:9 NIV- and so that you will enjoy a long life in the land the LORD swore to give to your ancestors and to you, their descendants--a land flowing with milk and honey!
Baya...that Godly Diva
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