I had something else planned for this morning but I was led to re-post this blog about being in the Wilderness. If you have already read it, amen- however, there is new material;powerful material that will give you understanding of God's love for you in what may seem like the darkest hours of your life. God has not forgotten about you. He is just preparing you for the promise.
How do you know when you are in the wilderness and not just going through a difficult time in your life? The wilderness usually includes YOUR FLESH dying daily. You may think you are delivered from a particular thing and find that later on in life, you still need work in that area. In the wilderness, God's destroys those things that are not like him. He destroys them his way because your way did not work.
The wilderness is designed by God to show you just who he really is. Some of us can live our whole life and never really know who God is. The wilderness is also designed to show you who you really are. Not everyone who enters the wilderness will make it out. Some will give up, some will die trying (spiritually). The only way to enter the new land and receive the promise is by doing things God's way. By allowing him to strip you of almost every thing that you know to be you. Everyday can feel like torture in the wilderness. You find out just how much of the world is in you. Yes you love God, yes you serve God, yes you are saved and baptised with his spirit but, you are still fleshly. You still do things the way the world does things. You operate in your flesh more than you thought. The wilderness will reveal that to you. The Holy Spirit and The Flesh go to war in the wilderness. A bloody battle that will prove who is in fact Lord over your life.
The Wilderness will bring every bit of Word you know, everything you've ever learned about God: every song of praise and worship, every story that your grandma and grandpa has told you about Jesus, every christian movie you've watched, and christian book you've read, every sermon, every motivational inspiration, any and everything related to God will be your comfort. The road will become so lonely and so narrow that those memories and teachings will be what keep you alive. Some days it will feel as if God is attacking you. Nights will be so cold and scary not knowing which way to go and what to do. You will literally feel like just going home to glory (dying). The wilderness holds bad news, demotions, challenges, changes, stress, financial problems, lack, concerns, sickness, no hope, tears, pain, no joy, no rest, backbiting, gossip, no peace, letdowns, divorces, miscarries, and betrayal. Every day you live by whatever manna God chooses to feed you. There is never a choice, everything is done his way. There is no one that you can speak to (though you will try). No one will have the answers but God. There will be nothing your pastor or spiritual leader can do. Nothing a friend, parent, or even spouse can help with. Every road that you know will be blocked. Every path you remember will be crooked. Every familiar door will be bolted shut. The only person you can go to is- God. The only person you can depend on is- God. The only one you can trust is-God. The only thing and the only one that matter WILL BE- God. That is the way he has designed it. In the wilderness, your life will be turned upside down and inside out. The things of the world, the concerns of the world, the joys of the world, the hopes from the world, the love of the world will be replaced by and with GOD.
This is not to scare you but to prepare you; the wilderness experience has been the hardest years of my life. Everyday trying to survive. Everyday a dead end. Tears, stress, worry, hurt, beat up by life. Broken by the challenges of motherhood. Demonic forces coming against my marriage. Evil things happening within and to my family. People I love struggling, and nothing I can do to help, Weird things happening in and to my body. Overwhelmed by life. I had never experienced trials so great while serving Christ. It started out as just a rocky season, my perspective was, "this too shall pass." But, it never passed. Day after day, month after month, year after year, it just did not end.
I am still in the wilderness feeding off of any bit of manner that God sees fit to give me for the day (Duet. 8:2:...man does not live by bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.) In the beginning, it was bad news after more bad news, after more bad news (2 Tim 3:12: In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.) Then I went through a stripping stage; all of my prized possessions, my greatest materials begin to go away (Job 1:21-God gives and God takes). Later, I went through a no one is here for me stage (John 15:18&20: "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also.") Followed by, the no one understands me stage (1 Pet. 4:12-13: Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you). Then there was, there's no hope stage (Ex. 20:20:"Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning.") And, what did I do to deserve this stage (1 Peter 4: Since Christ suffered physical pain you must arm yourselves with the same inner conviction that he had. To be free from sin means bodily suffering, and the man who accepts this will spend the rest of his time here on earth, not in being led by human desires, but in doing the will of God.) And, so forth; I would call out to God he wouldn't answer (Job 30:20:"I cry to you, O God, but you don't answer. I stand before you, but you don't even look.) I would get so mad and threaten to walk away from God (James 1:20:For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. 1 Peter 2:23:When he suffered he made no threats of revenge.) Many many tears shed. Still no answer (Rev.21:4: He will wipe every tear from their eyes.) I would complain and complain just to find more problems and more disappointments. It felt as if God had forsaken me (Mark 15:34: My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?) As my flesh continued to die I would remember the things of my past, of my old life...then I would weep uncontrollably asking God what had I done to deserve such hardship (2 Tim. 1:8: Accept your share of the hardship that faithfulness to the gospel entails in the strength that God gives you).
Today, I hear God clearly. I walk closer with God. I know God! What matters to him, matters to me. I worship him in Spirit and in Truth with my behavior. (Is. 43:19: For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.) There were brutal times of battle. I did not think I would could make it. I thought I was losing my mind but, all the while God was renewing my mind. I didn't realize then but now I see that God was with me. He is with me. The manna that he give me is just enough for the day. He is training me to not think of tomorrow but to only focus on today (Mat. 6:34:"So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries.) Today he will give me just what I need for the day alone. I am not to take in more than a day's portion, if I do, God will decrease his manna to help me stay focused on only him. Phew, it can be a struggle. When you go from having everything, to having nothing, your natural mode of survival is to store up. God's mode is to: look up. (Ps.121:1) I still cry. I still hurt. I still want to know the answers. I still want to know where I am going. I roam around in the wilderness singing old church hymns. I find joy and hope by reading his word. I am no longer scared of the beasts of the wilderness because I have acquired a set of skills that keeps the enemy under my feet. I am more thankful now for his grace and his mercy, then I have ever been in my life. My nights are spent thinking..."I am still alive". I rejoice in knowing, I made it another day. I have learned to take deep breaths and say, "Thank you Jesus." (Rom.8:28:And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.)
I am still in the wilderness feeding off of any bit of manner that God sees fit to give me for the day (Duet. 8:2:...man does not live by bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.) In the beginning, it was bad news after more bad news, after more bad news (2 Tim 3:12: In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.) Then I went through a stripping stage; all of my prized possessions, my greatest materials begin to go away (Job 1:21-God gives and God takes). Later, I went through a no one is here for me stage (John 15:18&20: "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also.") Followed by, the no one understands me stage (1 Pet. 4:12-13: Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you). Then there was, there's no hope stage (Ex. 20:20:"Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning.") And, what did I do to deserve this stage (1 Peter 4: Since Christ suffered physical pain you must arm yourselves with the same inner conviction that he had. To be free from sin means bodily suffering, and the man who accepts this will spend the rest of his time here on earth, not in being led by human desires, but in doing the will of God.) And, so forth; I would call out to God he wouldn't answer (Job 30:20:"I cry to you, O God, but you don't answer. I stand before you, but you don't even look.) I would get so mad and threaten to walk away from God (James 1:20:For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. 1 Peter 2:23:When he suffered he made no threats of revenge.) Many many tears shed. Still no answer (Rev.21:4: He will wipe every tear from their eyes.) I would complain and complain just to find more problems and more disappointments. It felt as if God had forsaken me (Mark 15:34: My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?) As my flesh continued to die I would remember the things of my past, of my old life...then I would weep uncontrollably asking God what had I done to deserve such hardship (2 Tim. 1:8: Accept your share of the hardship that faithfulness to the gospel entails in the strength that God gives you).
Today, I hear God clearly. I walk closer with God. I know God! What matters to him, matters to me. I worship him in Spirit and in Truth with my behavior. (Is. 43:19: For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.) There were brutal times of battle. I did not think I would could make it. I thought I was losing my mind but, all the while God was renewing my mind. I didn't realize then but now I see that God was with me. He is with me. The manna that he give me is just enough for the day. He is training me to not think of tomorrow but to only focus on today (Mat. 6:34:"So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries.) Today he will give me just what I need for the day alone. I am not to take in more than a day's portion, if I do, God will decrease his manna to help me stay focused on only him. Phew, it can be a struggle. When you go from having everything, to having nothing, your natural mode of survival is to store up. God's mode is to: look up. (Ps.121:1) I still cry. I still hurt. I still want to know the answers. I still want to know where I am going. I roam around in the wilderness singing old church hymns. I find joy and hope by reading his word. I am no longer scared of the beasts of the wilderness because I have acquired a set of skills that keeps the enemy under my feet. I am more thankful now for his grace and his mercy, then I have ever been in my life. My nights are spent thinking..."I am still alive". I rejoice in knowing, I made it another day. I have learned to take deep breaths and say, "Thank you Jesus." (Rom.8:28:And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.)
The wilderness will be required from all who want to receive his promise. God will not put you in the wilderness if you are not prepared for it. (Mat.4:1:Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness.) 1 Cor. 10:13: And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.
1 Peter 4:16 KJV:16 Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf.
Duet. 11:9 NIV- and so that you will enjoy a long life in the land the LORD swore to give to your ancestors and to you, their descendants--a land flowing with milk and honey!
We are in this together!
Baya...that Godly Diva
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